Ruminations from the Temple

So, here we are at the end of another year - I can hardly believe it! I left my beloved religious community and said goodbye to my mother in 2010, and then left my relationship of 20 years in 2012. I entered university in 2013 and now am getting ready to graduate with honors this coming spring. And, best of all - I am privileged to live life with two of the sweetest, most loving souls alive. Who could ask for more? I am grateful to come to this time healthy and the most happy I have ever been. I am grateful for my children, and their continued health and happiness. I am grateful for a beautiful and peaceful home on the coast. I am grateful for things to learn and for those who are willing to share their knowledge. I am grateful for an innate curiosity and motivation to learn. I am grateful for the wisdom that is available. I am grateful for good food to eat, and the joy that comes from preparation and sharing. I am grateful for life's necessities - power, heat, running w...

Every year on Facebook everyone has the opportunity to post a 'year in review' type of thing, highlighting special moments and pictures from the year. Pretty cool, especially if you post pics of friends, family, events, etc. I enjoy looking at everyone's year, thinking about them, perhaps even praying for them as I take a look into their past year. There is much about Facebook that is worthwhile, and I think this may be one of them. I spend yesterday doing nothing but enjoying watching the ducks in the canal and poking through the scads of photographs I have taken this last year. I got a couple of new cameras and a new home in the last months, and both those things scream for photos. I now know that I have way too many shots of the beach, but oh well. Not nearly enough of my kids, though...boo. So, in an effort to capture the feel of this passing year, a few thoughts: I am so very proud of my children - Morgan is a straight-A student in her ongoing studies in Ear...

What a wonderful day spent with friends - we chose to chase down some color in these grey days of January. How 'bout at a local favorite nursery?

my favorite shot of the eight nights It was a beautiful Hanukkah this year. The weather was pretty agreeable and everyone was well, for the most part. We had eight crazy nights of taking photographs of the candles and enjoying each others company, whether it was the quiet family celebration here at home, the sweet erev Shabbat with the Chaverim or the wonderful seventh-night party filled with friends, laughter, latkes and champagne. Good times...great memories. Yes, it was a beautiful Hanukkah this year.

It's a great big world to a scared little girl. If you smile just right  no one knows you might have a heart full of pain and a soul that can't reign and a stomach full of butterflies... The pain of the last season of my life has been intense. Beyond measure, beyond understanding. But, even so, I still breathe. I'm alive and not without hope. As I begin a new day, I put the pain in a clean, new box and close the lid. Destined to be a collector of dust, I slide it up onto a high shelf. Turn out the light and close the closet door... it is time. I turn my back and walk into the light. The light of that new day full of possibilities and hope. Of love and promise... and friendship. And perhaps someday you will say you didn't mean it. Say you didn't mean to Say I wouldn't understand But it's time you say something G-d knows it's the one thing I need And the heart you broke, No it wasn't just anybody's heart

Traveler of the great divides Vagrant on a path to life Everyday feels a little closer To where it is that you're headed for Given to a hope of so much more For every time you fall apart There'll be a soul to guide your journey But if you choose to turn away There in the mirror You'll see my face Think you're on this road alone Looking for a truth untold Many times you've been close to breaking Giving up and letting go Something inside tells you it's not over For every time you fall apart There'll be a soul to guide your journey But if you choose to turn away There in the mirror You'll see my face And when the world crowds your space Remember days when noise was silent No empty vows, loveless displays Just a sense of knowing You'd see my face You'd see my face.

Even knowing the painful end, I would do it all again. I would just savor every moment more. It was that worth it. Don't be sad for me, dearheart for I'm just being human. Embracing the full range of emotion that comes from experience, from living, from loving... from feeling too deeply. Oh, let me be melancholy, will you? It's alright, really. Listen to music that aches and look for something that is not seen; For no one physically dies from lament at least - or so it might seem. Let the music flow freely, allow tears to match the notes. The instruments are the voice, the rhythm is a heartbeat. Wrap empathetic arms around a sigh and explore the full breadth of love; love gained, love lost, and love given, even still. I wish there was another word for this type of love, one more definitive and clear. The love of others, love that defies explanation. Love that is always good, right, and true. Love is like a coin, oh yes, you may hav...

Many thanks to a dear friend who shared this song by Micheal John Piorier. The words really touched my heart...maybe they will touch yours as well. Oh yes, LORD, please let the healing begin...for all of us. Bring to me your broken wings bring me your empty sky; Rest your trembling heart in mine I'll sing you a lullaby. Come and find your innocence, come find the faith of a child again. Here far below, the lies you were told... Come and let the healing begin. Paint for me your blackest night, I'll paint you the Milky Way. Give me your faded childhood dreams, I'll give you the color of days Come and find your innocence, come find the faith of a child again. Here far below, the lies you were told... Come and let the healing begin. Someone you trusted but never knew twisted your joy into shame. They wounded you and walked away and somehow you've taken the blame. But the fault is not yours - you are not to blame, so don't let yourself listen to the lies. The t...

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, In the city of our God, His holy mountain. Beautiful in elevation, the joy of the whole earth, Is Mount Zion in the far north, The city of the great King. God, in her palaces, Has made Himself known as a stronghold. For, lo, the kings assembled themselves, They passed by together. They saw it, then they were amazed; They were terrified, they fled in alarm. Panic seized them there, Anguish, as of a woman in childbirth. With the east wind You break the ships of Tarshish. As we have heard, so have we seen In the city of the LORD of hosts, in the city of our God; God will establish her forever. Selah. We have thought on Your lovingkindness, O God, In the midst of Your temple. As is Your name, O God, So is Your praise to the ends of the earth ; Your right hand is full of righteousness. Let Mount Zion be glad, Let the daughters of Judah rejoice Because of Your judgments. Walk about Zion and go around her; Count her ...