The Philosophy of the Donut

Heraclitus – You can’t eat the same donut twice.

Plato – All donuts share in ideal ‘donut-ness.'

Aristotle – A donut contains its donut-ness.

Augustine – Donuts need grace to be fully donut.

Descartes – A donut hole proves the existence of the donut.

Locke – Donuts taste good to me.

Hume – Donuts exist because I imagine donuts.

Kant – A ‘donut’ = my total experience of donuts.

Wollstonecraft – Women deserve donuts, too.

Mill – Donuts are good if they make people happy.

Kierkegaard – I have faith that donuts are delicious.

Marx – Everybody deserves donuts.

Nietzsche – Stop at nothing to get your donut.

Saussure – Beignet/Krappen/Ciambella/Bunuelo = donut.

Wittgenstein  - Fried pastry, zero, parking lot spin, spare tire.

Beauvoir – Patriarchy is responsible for the shape of the donut.

Malcolm X - We should all be afforded the opportunity to get donuts…by any means necessary.

Ayn Rand – A donut is a donut.

Schrodinger – Until someone looks in the box, you are both eating and not eating the donut.

Homer (Simpson) – Mmmmm…donuts.