March 24, 2011

Character Assassination


As many of you know, I have had problems with my character being maligned maliciously, most seriously in the last year.  I have said it many times through this dark time of my life; I have never experienced such pain, sadness, betrayal,  anguish, and sheer amazement at the lack of integrity and purposeful hurt.  Through it all, I have done my absolute best to be humble, righteous, polite, kind and loving.  I have done nothing to be ashamed of, as the LORD has enabled me to be honest and forthright.  I am thankful for a clear conscience.

Many friends, both near and far, have expressed their concern, love, hope and prayers for myself, and my close friends, as we have endured.  From the wise words of my husband and parents, to my beloved letterboxing community, to all my wonderful costuming friends, even friends of friends - they were all right.  You were all right...the writing was on the wall.  Thank you for your continual love, care and compassion.  But, most of all, thank you for your friendship.

This is the end; the final meeting, the final indictment, the final response.  In reality, the end probably came a long time ago, but I was in such denial, ever hoping that what was once mine hadn't slipped through my fingers.

A sad day, it is.

Character assassination is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument. 
For living individuals targeted by character assassination attempts, this may result in being rejected by his community, family, or members of his or her living or work environment. Such acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify, and the process is likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can last a lifetime or, for historical figures, for many centuries after their death.   
In practice, character assassination may involve doublespeak, spreading of rumors, innuendo or deliberate misinformation on topics relating to the subject's morals, integrity, and reputation. It may involve spinning information that is technically true, but that is presented in a misleading manner or is presented without the necessary context.

To Whom it May Concern,

Upon receiving your response to our last meeting, I tried to be mindful of your intent. However, I have to respectfully disagree with your points. In fact, it is plain that issues have been fabricated to keep us out, as these indictments are complete lies.  (I have omitted any Scripture references, as we are all fully aware of our duties as believers.)

I absolutely cannot, and will not, admit to and/or repent for sin that I have not committed. I have repeatedly and humbly apologized for any hurt or embarrasment I may have caused with my words or actions. Once again, I would like to express my deep love and care for all involved; it is my hope and desire that you hear my words with the best of intent, despite how they may sound.

1. I adamantly insist that I have not committed slander in writing or in my speech. If you are able to provide proof, I'd be willing to look at evidence and possibly reconsider, in case I have missed something.

2. Similar to the first point, I have to truthfully state that I have not caused dissension and strife. Again, I'd like to see proof that substantiates your accusation.

3. In regard to respecting and submitting to those the LORD has put in authority, I clearly stated that I would most certainly be able to respect and honor as long as my best interests were considered.  I believe that is all anyone can ask and is in keeping with the teaching we have heard many times in regards to the marriage relationship and wives submitting to their husbands.

4. Concerning Star Wars, I don't believe it is under the jurisdiction of anyone to dictate how much or how little others participate in any given hobby. However, if it will put your minds at ease, we have been participating infrequently as of late, contrary to your repeated assertion of our 'deep involvement'.

5. It is rather insulting that some keep bringing up the issue of the friendship between Lisa and I, even after confirmation from Larry that he has no problems. Again, I don't think this is anyone's business but ours. If some would like to prove me wrong, again, I would be completely willing to re-assess. I am deeply sorry that some are unable to understand committed and loyal friendship.

Now, I would like to enumerate some issues of my own. I acknowledge that I have received a group apology for not dispatching certain duties as laid out in Scripture. However, as much as I want to, yet again, give a 'pass' for the lack of compassion towards me, I am limited to accept this stilted apology by how much my own sincere apologies have been refused.  The proof of this rejection is evidenced by the continual bringing up of the same issues over and over again, regardless of my efforts to meet (difficult) demands.

Further, this I have against you: as servants of the Most High, you are guilty of not showing love and compassion, even as we were being harshly judged and attacked for a sustained period of time (at least 2 years). This would be an overt sin of the greatest command of loving G-d and loving your neighbor as yourself. In addition, sin was committed by listening to lashon hara and slander against myself, even giving in to legalistic judgment and allowing (maybe encouraging?) harassment to continue. As a result of my trust and seeking counsel from my mentor, my words have been twisted and used against me in deceitful ways, so much so that I have struggled to defend myself. I was continually advised to let things ‘roll off’ instead of confronting the attackers; which I did until I couldn’t stand it any longer.

Moreover, I am offended greatly at the mocking of the Holy Spirit. It is just inexcusable to hear servants mocking those with the gift of discernment (or any spiritual gift, for that matter) and/or those who hear from our LORD in a way in which some are obviously limited. This is a call to repentance and personally would even go so far as to call it blasphemy. At the very least, it is disrespectful to fellow believers and grievous to the Holy Spirit.

It is more than obvious to me that there is something much bigger than the above issues going on here. Since it is clear that the voices of others have drown out all reason, perhaps money is the motivation. It is true that I don’t have much monetary value, and perhaps those with ‘bigger voices’ are more valuable, especially when donations are being actively sought. The other possibility that comes to mind is that there may be some secret inappropriate feelings towards me that have not been revealed, but needs to be kept silent. Best to have me out, if that is the case.

It is my firm belief that the enemy has definitely been at work, causing havoc and dissension. To blame us for this is absolutely absurd; if it were at our hands, things would have quieted down after our departure. It has been said that it is not the same as when we left, but worse. We would be walking into a fire, so to speak. It is my observation that the responsibility of this dissension and chaos lies at the feet of the ones who are not keeping the wolves at bay. The enemy has been allowed to come into the flock and has even dragged some off. Shameful.

In closing, I would like to thank you for your time, even though I know you have purposely drug this situation out for the past five months, undoubtedly hoping we would just give up and go away. I take no responsibility for this foot-dragging, as I have been more than timely, respectful and polite with all my responses, be it email, text or phone. I am sickened by the loss of time and relationship - you will never have a more staunch supporter, defender and loyal friend - of this I am convinced.

“We both know the truth. And, we both know the LORD is your defense.”
 I couldn’t agree more.

I will engage in no more communication regarding these issues, unless absolutely necessary. I find repeating myself tedious, five months of it even more so.

I pray that the LORD have mercy on us all.

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

~Paul to the Galatians

8 comments:

asl4god said...

Nice job, my sister. I love you!!!

Mama Cache said...

Continuing to pray for you in the wake of it all. I love you, and I know that the Lord will draw near to you as you draw near to Him. He has promised.

Netanya said...

LOVE what you wrote and how you wrote it. Well put. It's been a long time coming. Judgement and criticism are never a good thing. Everyone could use more love and grace. What happened to letting each person BE an individual?!

Laura said...

For some reason, your blog wasn't showing up in my reader. And then, boom, 25 entries showed up yesterday or the day before. It was a whole lotta Liz (who I've missed)!

So anyway, it's my experience that too many people are simply on the lookout for ways to be offended. It's like they want to believe the worst in everyone--they almost relish it.

I choose to believe the best and I think it's a happier place.

Wishing you peace,

Laura

pappabell said...

Surely,surely the heart of G-d must be grieving right now at what men and women do and allow to be done in His name. Shame on all of them.

Hendel D'bu said...

Psalm 36

I have a message from God in my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before their eyes.

In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their sin.
The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful; they fail to act wisely or do good.
Even on their beds they plot evil;
they commit themselves to a sinful course and do not reject what is wrong.

Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep.
You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart.
May the foot of the proud not come against me, nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
See how the evildoers lie fallen— thrown down, not able to rise!

Ann Canton said...

Dear Liz,

I am so, so sorry that you have had to go through such an ordeal, especially at such a traumatic time with the passing of your beloved mother. It is so typical of the devil to slay a person when they are already down. However, the Lord knows the depth of your suffering - He too suffered at the hands of men.....and I pray the He will reveal more of Himself and His lonely walk to the cross this Pesach....He did so with me...He revealed His pain when Judas betrayed him and for what? Money.....and then Peter couldn't even stand up and say - yep I know Him....ooooh the depth of His pain....it can never be trivialised what He went through for us.

Praying that you will receive times of refreshing that come from being in the Presence of the Lord...you will eventually turn that corner and the Lord will graciously open up a place where you can rest and be nourished and feel safe in Him...

He WILL heal and He WILL restore, He loves you and delights in you..you are precious in His sight....remember your Father loves you with the same passion that he loves His beloved Son.

Thinking of you

Ann xx

Ari C'rona said...

I just reread this one, my friend. Wow... what an ordeal it was and continues to be. I still maintain that I am honored to have walked beside you through all of this.

May our great and mighty G-d continue to guide our every step as we work our way past this horrific time. I love you.