August 4, 2010
I have never met anyone who enjoyed waiting. Except for my dad; he would sit in the car while my mom would go into the store to shop and, you guessed it, sleep. "I'll just be a moment," she would say, but for a young girl sitting in the backseat waiting, it seemed like forever. I really don't wait well. My dad would agree, I'm sure.
We are forced to wait for so many things. I really had a tough time waiting to get pregnant after my husband and I got married, then when we did, I had a hard time waiting the 9+ months it takes for the baby to come. Time just drags when you are waiting. At least, that's my experience.
We wait for dinner, we wait for vacation. We wait for our paycheck only to wait again for the next. We wait to be old enough to be considered an adult, then we lament the days of our youth when they are gone. We wait and wish and hope. My mom always told me not to wish my life away; I think that was good advice. How 'bout not waiting our life away?
There must be a good reason for waiting, a lesson perhaps. I suppose it is patience, but to be honest, I don't feel like I've acquired any more patience than when I was that little girl in the backseat of my parent's car. The only way I've been able to endure waiting is to try to forget about whatever I'm waiting for. Do you do that, too? I hope it works better for you than me.
I can never fully rest while I'm waiting. It's like a gear inside my head that is continually spinning, clattering with the sound, "waiting, waiting, waiting..." I think waiting is different from looking forward to something; at least if you are looking forward to something it's a positive. Waiting is neither a positive or a negative - it can go either way. Like waiting for a decision made by someone else that will affect your life or waiting for that diagnosis from those mysterious medical tests. I guess the impatience is founded in not knowing how things are going to work out. Will I be able to handle the situation if this happens, or that? How will I feel? How will others see me? Will everything work out?
Perhaps waiting isn't about learning patience at all. Maybe it's all about learning to walk in faith, knowing that the Almighty has everything well in hand. Waiting well may be accepting that you really are not in control of anything at all, and no matter what the outcome, you can trust that He has your best interests at heart. Can I learn the lesson of waiting well, walking in the faith that sustains me in every other situation?
Well, when I think about it that way, the only answer is yes.