March 28, 2012

5 Reasons to Forego the Leggings


I never thought I would, once again, hear this announcement.

"Please, ladies...no leggings. They are quite, well, quite skin-tight, and reveal a little too much while we are singing before the congregation."

Y'think?

Alright, I know the fad. Leggings with some very cool tall boots, paired with a long shirt-dress, sweater dress or mini-skirt. Everything's covered, right?


Wrong! No, everything is not covered. Well, it may be in theory, but not in the hearts and minds of all who see them being worn. No, nothing is hidden from view. That's right...just let that sink in for a minute.

So, without further ranting, here are my

5 Reasons to Forego the Leggings

Reason #1 - Let's talk age for a moment and consider who this style was intended, shall we? I'm really gonna go out on a limb here and say that if you remember leggings in your laundry basket when you were much younger, like when you were done killing yourself with the 20 Minute Workout on TV, and you can also remember mocking them when they went out of fashion, you probably shouldn't be donning them again. That would just make you a hypocrite...an old hypocrite.

Reason #2 - I love this style, especially with the tall, sexy boots. But, I have to just be bold and say if you cannot fit into the tall boots...for whatever reason...or cannot walk in them without struggle, this is probably not the style for you. I'm just sayin'. No, I can't fit into them, either...don't feel bad. And, buying boots with the wider calf doesn't work either. Sad but true.

Reason #3 - Let's be honest - this style was definitely intended for the leggy among us. If you don't fit into this category, there will not be much to leg to show between the sweater dress hem and the top of your boots. And, if you are petite, in more ways than one, you may be able to pull it off...if you are 10.

Reason #4 - OK, let's talk about the skirts, shall we? There used to be a rule, not sure if it is anymore, but it should be if it isn't. No mini skirts over age 35. 40 at the absolute latest. And why is that, you ask? Well, unless you have the workout schedule of Madonna, I can assure you the back of your legs aren't something you want to be parading around. Especially if those leggings are on the thinner side. Which they all are. Besides, what happens when you bend over? Well, since the wearer doesn't get a view, I am going to assume they don't know or even think about the rear view. But everyone else does. 'Nuff said.

#5 - Last, but not least, if you have more granny to put into those panties these days, just say no to leggings.


Now, I'm not trying to discriminate against the more curvy or life-experienced among us, truly. I'm right there with you. But please, can I remind everyone how much ridicule this little piece of clothing garnered way back when...like decades ago?

The bottom line is this: if you cannot remember leggings from a previous era of your life, have no idea what girdles are, stand over 5'8" and weigh less than 120 lbs, then you are probably pretty safe to give them a go. Except on stage at your church.

2 comments:

Mama Cache said...

Can you hear my chuckle? Fun post.

Ari C'rona said...

Well, since I fit into all those categories, including being 'life-experienced', I guess I'll not wear leggings even with my cool new boots... dang, you burst my bubble! hahaha!