December 20, 2010

Here's What I Know

Sometimes things just don't turn out the way we would like.  Circumstances are created, decisions are made and hearts break before anyone even has time to make it stop.

It is through these oh-so-difficult times that we learn the most.  I wish that weren't so.  But, even with knowing it is true, I'm hoping that I don't need to learn anything more for a while so I can recover from this, um...learning experience.

I know that my character has been, and continues to be, called into question because of my hobbies.  I know of no way to resolve these things.  I also know that I can choose to listen to the LORD above all else, and He proves His care for me daily despite the opinions of men.

I know it didn't have to be this way.

I know that I enjoy yoga stretches.  Let me clarify; I do not believe that a position of your body determines what deity you are, or are not, worshiping.  I know it is the position of the heart, not the body, that is crucial in matters of spirituality, regardless of anyone's opinion, study, critique or judgment.

I know that yoga is not my religion, nor does doing yoga stretches make me a pagan anymore than dressing as a Jedi makes me an idolater.  I know that I don't chant mantras, burn incense to foreign gods, believe that I am a god or anything else that is contrary to following HaShem.

I know that this blog has become my only voice and defense against those that would continue to rail against me, both in public and private.  That's fine; I know how to write and happily know that I have every right to do so.

I know that there are some completely bound by fear, pride and arrogance; so much so that they are unable to do the right thing.

I know that there are those that are pretending to be righteous, when in fact their actions speak otherwise.

I know, and respect, that everyone has a right to their opinion, as do I.   I also know that there are so many times when sharing said opinions is not welcomed or necessary.

I know that, for some, the definition of gossip is ever-changing dependent upon who is speaking.

I know that I hate secrets and the silent treatment.

I know that it is impossible to make a logical, wise and informed decision without all the facts.

I know that I will miss some so much that it will physically hurt for a very long time.  I also know that there is not a damned thing I can do about it.

And, of those people, I know that I will think of them, pray for them, and believe the best of them regardless.  I know that I will hold memories of them so close to my heart - happy memories of life and laughter that was too good to last.

I know that I have cried so many tears that I thought there were no more, but I was wrong.

I know that I have learned a huge amount about fasting and praying diligently, prostrate before the LORD.  Experience is everything.

I know that some will consider this blog post gossip.  I also know that I respectfully disagree.

I know that I am not going to get a tattoo.

I know that it is good to speak about self-deception and demonizing as long as we are all willing to take a long, hard look at ourselves and not just point fingers.

I know that I have some of the best and beautiful souls in the world as friends; they truly understand what loyalty and loving friendship really means.

I know that I will continue to keep the Torah to the best of my ability, G-d willing.

I know that the LORD will direct my path in the ways He would purpose me to go.

Groups, like stars, are entitled to eclipse.
All is well, provided the light returns
and the eclipse does not become endless night.
Dawn and resurrection are synonymous.
The reappearance of the light
is the same as the survival of the soul.

~Victor Hugo
edit by H. D'bu

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