March 26, 2010


Yeah, I knew it would be stormy and rough. When I agreed to extra tasks, I knew it would be busier than usual, this is true. But, I thought I could handle it. I am...sorta.

Passover is, surprisingly, the least of my worries. We have hosted a large seder now for a few years and feel pretty confident that most of the kinks are worked out. My house will be chameitz-free when it needs to be, we have a good but low-maintenance menu, loving friends are pitchin' in to help and it's all going to come together beautifully. Yeah, the least of my worries.

My little foray back into the church is interesting. They expect so much out of their volunteers. Just slamming through the passion play/production back-to-back left me without a voice and feeling less than valuable. How in the world am I going to do four in a row? I am so spoiled with my own community of loved ones that care and want to hang out together - friendships based in reality and time. The contrast with these that are a part of this drama and choir is stark and a little sad. Nice people, but don't get close and don't ask too many questions.

Just to add a little difficulty to the fun, somehow I've caught some sort of bug...a cold, I suppose. Reeking havoc with my vocal cords and sinus, achy, chilled and feverish; I'm just barely treading water, keeping my head up and moving forward. Thankfully, once I'm in the moment, I deliver, but it's the aftermath that's the killer. I can't fall into bed quickly enough, only to sleep fitfully. (Ah well, sleep is overrated, right?)

But the whopper of a wave in this storm is Rose. A flyin' trip to the ER, pain and morphine, family woes and power plays, nurses, doctors, IVs and the waiting game... I'm trying to keep it all together. Our 'team' of wonderful ladies needs to be kept in the loop, for they are all scheduled to visit her at her home. They are unaware (but not for long) that she is in the hospital and her needs have changed for the moment. What will happen? Who knows! This situation is fluid and always changing, stressful and draining, never-ending, it would seem. We all know there will be an end, but what will it look like? Will I make it to the end with my dignity still intact? Will the friendships I'm relying on for support withstand the pressure? My heart breaks for our dear Rose and her family. I'm just trying to keep my focus on what's important and what is requested of me by the Master.

So, it's off to shopping for much-needed food, trying to get this weekend down on a calendar (old-fashioned paper would be good), giving my sweet princess a driving lesson, checking the homeschool work from the week - gosh, is it Friday already? Back to the hospital, oh and the update email...what am I forgetting? I feel like I'm losing my sanity, never mind the details, in the backlash of this storm.

Oh, and the photo? That was taken on our last big road trip. We drove through Kentucky in the worst rainstorm I have experienced. We didn't get to see much of the beautiful state of Kentucky other than what you see in that pic, unfortunately. Man, was I glad when we were out of that storm...I think I'll feel the same way again in the near future.


Mama Cache said...

Praying for you...

Stacy Christian said...

I am so so sorry that you are in the middle of this storm, and sick to boot. Know that you are loved--by both human and the Divine.

Ari C'rona said...

It doesn't help when your Padawan has those hormone dips...

I think you're doing all you have to do extremely well.

May our Master grant you the strength for the next few days, my dear friend.

Jedi-J said...

You have such a great way with words. I envy the insight you give. Wish I could express myself better than the grade 2 level I'm stuck in haha. Feel better!