What does it take to be a friend?

Have you ever heard the saying that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend? I'm afraid that many, many people just don't know what it takes to be a friend. Lots of folks do really well at being acquaintenances, but are a little unclear as to what it takes to be a friend.

I am by no means an expert, but I think the following needs to be considered:

To be a friend, you have to be willing to give of your time.

I have blogged in the past about the use of our time and how important it is to give it to others selflessly. However, in the arena of friendship, I think it is most valuable and speaks the loudest. A friend builds a history with you.

To be a friend, you have to be willing to listen.

Are you willing to listen and care, sincerely? When is the last time someone listened to you...I mean really listened? Most of us feel the brush off frequently, but we all need to feel like what we are saying is important, and want to be heard. A good friend is a good listener.

A friend makes you feel needed and wanted.

Everyone has the intense need to feel wanted and needed by those around them - it gives us all purpose and a sense of belonging.

A friend makes you feel attractive.

A good girlfriend of mine always tells me I'm beautiful and I tell her the same. We always laugh when we say it, but we do mean it and it is just so nice to hear someone tell you that you are pretty. I think it is very important, but something that most do not hear frequently enough (or maybe not at all!). We are all made in the image of our Creator, and we are all beautiful in one way or another. Besides, true beauty shines from the inside to the outside, regardless of what we are wearing or how we fix our hair.

A friend is honest.

A good friendship is based upon honesty and love. No exceptions.

A friend is not competitive or a braggart.

It is no fun to always be always 'one-upped'...that is not friendship, that's a competition.

A friend is patient and tolerant.

We are all trying to be better; a friend is patient to see those improvements come, knows our weaknesses and is tolerant of our idiosyncrasies.

A friend is there when you are hurting.

A friend wants to laugh with you.

A friend wants to be serious with you.

A friend is intimate with you emotionally.

A friend says the hard things...with compassion.

A friend wants to share your life with you.

Friends are necessary and vital to our mental well-being.

Thank you to all my friends - I love you all. You are all beautiful and hold a special place in my heart, and always will.