Me me me me me me...
As of late, I have been confronted with more selfishness than I would like to admit, both on the part of myself and others. It makes me think that either I need to get over it or 'go home and rethink my life'. I simply don't understand this horrible trait of us all to be so self-centered...self-absorbed, really. I have heard it called the 'me-generation', but that was soooo long ago (probably many generations ago! lol!). It is a joke, really..."it's all about ME! Me, me, me, me, me!" *insert laugh track here*
Television sitcoms are so painful to watch because it's all about someone being selfish, lying or manipulating those that they care about at the start of the show, then deciding to be a good person at the end - all within 15 minutes of airtime. It makes me want to gag; who watches those shows? I do think they are harmful to our society, as it creates an environment that says the 'pretty' people, (or those that are supposed to look and act like 'normal' people), are rude to each other, and they can just say "oops, just kidding!" and everyone kisses and makes up. Bleh.
How shallow. But, let's not leave out those that profess to be righteous ones; those that attend worship services and give their money to noble causes. None of us are exempt from wanting what we want, when we want it, and will manipulate a situation to make it so. So few are truly willing to order things as to serve others, walk without kudos, continue even though they don't want to, and to care for those that no one else wants to consider...the nerdy, the unlovely, the unpopular, the widows, the orphans... And, truth be told, it's those very souls that will not understand what loyalty is, and will shun those serving them as soon as a crisis passes. Harsh, you say? Nah...just human nature as I see it.
I admit it...I can be selfish. I like a little too much quiet, alone time. I fight with the urge to run away frequently, or shush that voice that says it has to be my way or the highway. Bending to the will of others is good and right, if their way is good and right; I strive to discern when I am being selfish and then adjust my behavior. I'm not always successful, as you may well imagine...we all fight with the fallen nature and wanting to put ourselves at the front of the line.
So, am I advocating martydom? Being the proverbial door-mat for others simply in the name of not being selfish? No, certainly not. But I do believe when we find ourselves in the position of decision maker for others, we need to put our wishes and desires as secondary to the good of the whole, including the unlovely. There will be time for you, I promise...just not all the time.
I understand being tired of service...truly, I do. Some have served on staff, in areas of leadership, on steering committees their whole life. Partly because that is all they know, but partly because they have G-d given talents that the rest don't possess. I also understand how easy it is to get into a mindset that says, "it's my turn, darnit! I'm tired of them hangin' on to my shirttail!"...or tzitzit. Can I suggest a reordering of things as to make time for personal R & R, time to re-adjust and re-commit? Everyone needs sanity breaks, even small ones, on a regular basis. Perhaps a great deal of selfishness stems from not having balance in life; giving all the time, but not re-fueling. I could see where this would cause great frustration and selfish behavior. So....take a day off once in a while! "Selfishly" take some time to yourself, to recharge, so you can give unselfishly in the areas where it is important.
I believe, very strongly in fact, that HaShem blesses those who serve unselfishly. Those who take the ones that others do not want to deal with under their wing and care for their feelings with compassion; making them feel included and considered...not forgotten. I have seen it happen, have fought for the opportunity to care for those that cannot find their way, or that are not invited to the fancy functions. (Really, don't pat me on the back...HaShem has already blessed me beyond measure.) I will continue to fight for this cause, because I have to. I need to...it's what we are supposed to do.
To be unselfish.
To be right and just.
To follow the mitzvot.
Television sitcoms are so painful to watch because it's all about someone being selfish, lying or manipulating those that they care about at the start of the show, then deciding to be a good person at the end - all within 15 minutes of airtime. It makes me want to gag; who watches those shows? I do think they are harmful to our society, as it creates an environment that says the 'pretty' people, (or those that are supposed to look and act like 'normal' people), are rude to each other, and they can just say "oops, just kidding!" and everyone kisses and makes up. Bleh.
How shallow. But, let's not leave out those that profess to be righteous ones; those that attend worship services and give their money to noble causes. None of us are exempt from wanting what we want, when we want it, and will manipulate a situation to make it so. So few are truly willing to order things as to serve others, walk without kudos, continue even though they don't want to, and to care for those that no one else wants to consider...the nerdy, the unlovely, the unpopular, the widows, the orphans... And, truth be told, it's those very souls that will not understand what loyalty is, and will shun those serving them as soon as a crisis passes. Harsh, you say? Nah...just human nature as I see it.
I admit it...I can be selfish. I like a little too much quiet, alone time. I fight with the urge to run away frequently, or shush that voice that says it has to be my way or the highway. Bending to the will of others is good and right, if their way is good and right; I strive to discern when I am being selfish and then adjust my behavior. I'm not always successful, as you may well imagine...we all fight with the fallen nature and wanting to put ourselves at the front of the line.
So, am I advocating martydom? Being the proverbial door-mat for others simply in the name of not being selfish? No, certainly not. But I do believe when we find ourselves in the position of decision maker for others, we need to put our wishes and desires as secondary to the good of the whole, including the unlovely. There will be time for you, I promise...just not all the time.
I understand being tired of service...truly, I do. Some have served on staff, in areas of leadership, on steering committees their whole life. Partly because that is all they know, but partly because they have G-d given talents that the rest don't possess. I also understand how easy it is to get into a mindset that says, "it's my turn, darnit! I'm tired of them hangin' on to my shirttail!"...or tzitzit. Can I suggest a reordering of things as to make time for personal R & R, time to re-adjust and re-commit? Everyone needs sanity breaks, even small ones, on a regular basis. Perhaps a great deal of selfishness stems from not having balance in life; giving all the time, but not re-fueling. I could see where this would cause great frustration and selfish behavior. So....take a day off once in a while! "Selfishly" take some time to yourself, to recharge, so you can give unselfishly in the areas where it is important.
I believe, very strongly in fact, that HaShem blesses those who serve unselfishly. Those who take the ones that others do not want to deal with under their wing and care for their feelings with compassion; making them feel included and considered...not forgotten. I have seen it happen, have fought for the opportunity to care for those that cannot find their way, or that are not invited to the fancy functions. (Really, don't pat me on the back...HaShem has already blessed me beyond measure.) I will continue to fight for this cause, because I have to. I need to...it's what we are supposed to do.
To be unselfish.
To be right and just.
To follow the mitzvot.
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