I should be contented...

Sitting in front of a spectacular view of Jerusalem, Nov. 2006

The turkey has been smoking on our balcony for 15 hours. The smoke winds up in the air currents and creates shadows in the sunlight coming up over Mt. Rainier. The steam from the pan on the stove cooking the giblets mimicks the shadow outside the window, and creates interesting shapes that grab my attention. Just as I appreciate the random artwork, they disappear forever.



The fire crackles in the fireplace, lending to a cheerful, holiday atmosphere in the kitchen. The smell of coffee, sage and sticky, sweet cranberry sauce adds to the morning, as well. It is a crisp 29 degrees outside, with a thin layer of frost making everything look magical. Out of the corner of my eye, I get treated to the view of a flock of geese flying straight towards my kitchen window and up over the roof on their way to somewhere important. Awake at 5:30 am is unusual for me, but I guess I have a lot on my mind.



Last year, and the year prior, I was packed and ready to depart. Thoughts of Israel fill my thoughts and heart, as I am here. In my kitchen... with food that will be a delight to my familly, but really doesn't do a damn thing for me.



What I wouldn't give to be winging my way across the globe, setting my feet upon sacred soil. Hearing, seeing and touching my beloved once again. To be renewing the vow and breathing the air. To feel the sun warming my cold bones and the emotion filling my soul for another year.
I should be contented. I have everything I need, yet my heart aches.



Forgive me, O Lord, my Master, for my selfishness. Help me to be content just where you have placed me this day, and every day. Let me hold my memories close. Help me to treasure the memories that will be made this day, as much as the memories of where you have put your eyes and heart forever. Amen.