The Juggling Act

So, since this is my personal journal, I guess I can be as revealing as I would like, right? And, where does one write all these random thoughts down, just to get them out of their head?
I have thinking a lot about the juggling analogy as of late. How many balls can one keep in the air and still maintain balance?

Ball 1 - Homeschooling & Family
I’m feeling like I’m just hanging on by the skin of my teeth. The kids want to take every day off, and why shouldn’t they? It does seem the right of the young to try to avoid all that challenges their brains in any way. I just have one question: will my youngest ever remember the rules for vowel sounds? Will I continue to have the patience to tell him those rules over and over? (OK, so that was two questions.)

Aside from the schooling aspect, the dynamics of our family has changed so much. The children have grown to the point that they are flexing their ’independence’ muscles, which causes ripples to radiate into the fabric of our daily lives. Rob and I are keeping our bond as well as we can, but can we make it through the storm of adolescence with minimal conversation? I guess that remains to be seen.

Ball 2 - my Faith Community
I love my congregation and have vowed to support and protect it - and that is what I will do. However, the inner workings of personal relationships is definitely the challenge. Thankfully, a very stressful period of time has passed, thanks to the mercy of HaShem. Now, Passover is upon us, and I feel like I’m very much behind the eight ball. Will I get my house clean? Will we figure out all the details, or will I be stressing about everything right up until the end? I’m guessing ’yes’ on both counts. Still, I thank my Lord for giving me the opportunity to serve.
Beside the relational side, it is my duty to continue to study and learn... and when am I supposed to do that? Philosophy class is challenging and stimulating, to be sure, and I am currently learning what it means to meditate. So much to ponder and apply.

Ball 3 - Letterboxing and all that entails...
Yes, it’s a hobby, but one where I have build relationships and a reputation that I am not willing to let go. So often I feel like I am the voice of reason in a cacophony of voices - again, I will serve and seek to inspire. This has morphed into an entire online social sphere that tugs at my time and energy. What can I say?

Ball 4 - My Obsession
Just let me live in the fantasy world which I have created for myself, will ya? I love Star Wars and am beginning to build another group of wonderful relationships in this realm of costuming and fandom. I feel it pulling me into places I am totally willing to go, but can I do everything? I will try to keep everything in balance... I will.

Ball 5 - the Calendar
A ruthless taskmaster is this non-living entity, forever telling me what to do. Somehow I have control over it, but have trouble exerting that control. Odd. Our Road Trip is coming up, and no one is going to stop it - at least I will have forced time off from my other obligations, and a welcome time it will be. The Festivals will not stop coming and arrive whether I am ready or not. Can I call to cancel that dentist appointment I made for the week leading up to Passover? Who’s idea was that, anyway? And why do some plan fabulous things, and insist that I bend to their time schedule. "You just have to come, Liz... it just won’t be the same without you!" I just wish that I had more control over their calendar choices...
and, for the most insistent ball of all...

Ball 6 - The don’t-let-anyone-down Ball
This one is the one that kicks my butt and causes the most stress. HaShem, please don’t allow me to let anyone down - I care about all of them so much.
I foresee other Balls in the future: my parents are not healthy, and I will need to spend more time in that area. Fall festivals are looming on the horizon, new costumes are calling to me, maintaining relationships that mean so much to me will require re-prioritization... all these will pull and buffet me this way and that.

I will be strong. I will persevere. I will give and serve because that is what I’m supposed to do.
And I want to.

But, Lord, will you continue to give the strength to do all these things well? I beg you to do so.

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