Ruminations from the Temple

I didn’t meditate as usual this morning. Solomon died suddenly and tragically (perhaps from an illness or an internal condition). So very sad. I rode the waves of grief and trauma and just let them come. I did my best to not attach to the emotions but acknowledged them. I diligently tried not to create stories along the way, but I am not sure I was successful. I struggled with feeling responsible somehow, and guilty for not being able to help him in his distress. I felt helpless in the face of his anguish … and mine. I sat with him for an hour or more – probably 2. I think he went into a deep shock and was slowly slipping away. I thought I heard faint purring and sporadic shallow respiration. At one point I could hear a faint heartbeat, but after a while even that went away. I was just heartsick. I sought to PAUSE and feel what was happening in my body. At one point I had a major sugar-crash and grabbed for glucose-tab. At another check-in with my body, I wondered why I di...

Sometimes entanglements separate, so often for the better. Love was not lacking, or even desire, only that paths parted. Being free of attachment is a benefit, and loyalty isn’t always a virtue; Truly, clinging for acceptance and striving for victory leave only expectations. If clinging is your way, cling to the truth that expectations lead to suffering. If striving is your habit, strive to train yourself to be still. For in stillness there is awareness, acceptance, and quietness of mind. It is only in stillness that you will find what you seek.

It is still dark outside. The world, as I know it, is still snoozing away snuggled in their homes, quietly peaceful. Even the birds are not awake yet, as I stick my nose out our slider door to enjoy a deep breath of salty air. Within that breath are the memories of many years, countless people, and truly, all of my life. I love doing that, and I am never disappointed. However, I made a mistake this morning. While my beloved continues to slumber, I quietly got my morning coffee and intended to write, anticipating the small slice of solitude in which to attempt to organize my thoughts. I love writing, and I love having the space and time to do so. Unfortunately for me, like I said, I made a mistake. I read someone’s blog that, once again, called me out as a crappy person, a used-to-be friend who lacked the integrity to hang in there and ALWAYS be there. So, no, that wasn’t the best way to take the first bite of my ‘slice,’ as it were. I should know better by now. Every time t...

I woke this morning knowing he had passed from our side of the veil to the other. I had been thinking of him all week. And with those thoughts,  I lived with all the memories as if they were yesterday. I can hear his voice and his laugh. I can hear the piano and remember the friendship that was comforting and always welcome. The last time I saw him was in our old neighborhood. As had happened a million times before, he was driving in and I was driving out. I don't know if he was really happy to see me or if out of old habit, but we made eye contact. His face lit up in a familiar smile and he waved. I smiled broadly and waved back. He was supposed to cut me off, like everyone else. But somehow he always liked me. And I liked him back. Even in the dark times, he was kind and loving. Even as my world was crashing down, he was my friend. I always knew that he would be there, in his gentle way, to help in any way he could. He wasn't perfect, but in my life, and in the congrega...

I have had many friends over my 50 years of life. In my mind, I live with all of these ghosts nearly every day. As a child, my mother would console my sadness at a loss of friendship by telling me that they were ‘just jealous’ and I needed to just move on. I never could manage to believe her. I once had a friend who liked me because I hired her for a job. I once had a friend who shared the joys and sorrows of motherhood with me. I once had a friend who sat next to me to cry after my baby drowned, and a friend who held my hand through a painful breakup with a lover. I once had a friend who spent hours and hours on the telephone with me. I once had a friend who shared new and fascinating music with me, exploring every nuance of instrument and vocal deep into the night. I once had a friend who loved my parents and understood where I came from because they came from there, too. I once had a friend who danced with me all night long to a 45 record on a po...

ingredients: sand salt sunshine mix in: cameras family senses now include: beauty solitude birds when absorbed, add: sunglasses endless waves pocket treasures enjoy: a place to walk a place to breathe a place to observe a place to be serves 8

Everyone knows that relationships take work, right? Lots of hard work. But, in many cases, relationships can be sustained effectively by simply not offending the other party. Plodding along without real growth or deepening of intimacy is acceptable, even if not optimal. At the very least, both parties can count the relationship as a success merely by the fact that it has not ended on a bad note. In contrast, there are those that are hell-bent to commit relational suicide. Just as there are many unthinkable ways to end one's life, there are definitely bloody, painful and tragic ways to end friendship as well. In an effort to bring public awareness to an infrequently discussed and unnecessary tragedy, I have listed below some of the glaring symptoms of impending relational suicide. Hopefully, you don't recognize any of these tell-tale signs: Putting unrealistic expectations upon others or placing them on a pedestal. Twisting or taking pleasure in using the words of o...

We have all heard the term. If you think about such things as how the human mind processes difficult life events, the word broken inevitably arises. A great metaphor for the pain of love lost; it would seem popular culture has taken control of the word, especially in the arts. However, when we think about the human condition, broken could describe other maladies, as well. Mental discord or temporary trauma-induced behaviors could also be deemed as 'broken'. Deep depression could be indicative of brokenness; the inability to function and hope breaks, or interrupts, the stride of a life lived with purpose, direction and meaning. I like those analogies using the concept of broken, however, I have a different perspective. Human relationship is built on a number of things, both good and bad. We could say that we are attracted to someone, either romantically or for the sake of friendship, for selfish reasons such as a dislike of loneliness or a desire to feel popular or well-...

Ode To My Friend, a poem My dear friend, You humble me with your words, your spirit and your faithfulness. A simple thank you is not enough to express my gratitude  for such a gift and treasure that is our friendship. love you always, Liz

photo credit: Morgan Henderson It's what each of us sows, and how, that gives to us character and prestige.  Seeds of kindness, goodwill, and human understanding, planted in fertile soil,  spring up into deathless friendships, big deeds of worth,  and a memory that will not soon fade. ~George Matthew Adams

It's getting cold where I live.  My fingers are just frozen as I tap out insistent and heavy thoughts that won't leave me alone. Thoughts of friendships and how relationships impact our lives.  There seems a natural law that we will be judged by the company we keep, or have kept. The revelation is hitting me hard that the actions of those with whom I have aligned myself will translate onto me, good or bad. My friendships, both current and past - even the one I chose to marry - will change how people view me, talk to me...judge me.  It happens every day. And who is to say who the LORD will place in our lives? It is He who gives us compassion towards others, right? Is it not He who determines who will cross paths and when...and for what purpose? Only He knows the outcomes of alliances and commitments. For ultimately, He has enabled bonds to form between souls. Who is like Him so much that they can dictate when that is right or wrong? I have to ask myself if my judgmen...

I thanked G-d for you this morning.  Yes, YOU. I thanked Him for your honesty. I thanked Him for your standing by my side through some of the most painful, tragic things. I thanked Him for your presence at some of the most joyous times of my life. I thanked Him for your smile, your laugh and for your looks that speak volumes. I thanked Him for the phone calls, texts and messages that have come from you at the most amazing times. I thanked Him for your wisdom, teaching and understanding that have had way more impact than you could have ever known. I thanked Him for you holding my hand, your loving hugs and for the times that you let me cry on your shoulder. I thanked Him for your care and protection when I couldn't protect myself. I thanked Him for your hospitality, your willingness in friendship and for your fellowship which I needed so desperately. I thanked Him for all the times you wanted to spend time with me regardless of my mood. I thanked Him for the ti...

Some just don't know how to be a friend. No, really. I know it may come as a surprise to some, but I know quite a few people that just don't have the whole 'friendship' thing down. It always leaves me baffled, no matter how many times I see it. I strive to be a good friend, a loyal friend, a friend that is valued and trusted for the important things. I want to be there when people are hurting, I want to be honest and trustworthy...sought out for companionship. In my humble view, I would think most would want to be this way. Apparently, this is not the case. What usually ends up happening is that I pour much more care, effort, consideration, time and love into the relationship than what 'the friend' is willing to return. Does this happen to you, too? I know, everyone has their limits; "I'm willing to be a friend, but only so far." "Yeah, we're friends...as long as it's fun." "I'm only her friend as long...

Have you ever heard the saying that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend? I'm afraid that many, many people just don't know what it takes to be a friend. Lots of folks do really well at being acquaintenances, but are a little unclear as to what it takes to be a friend. I am by no means an expert, but I think the following needs to be considered: To be a friend, you have to be willing to give of your time. I have blogged in the past about the use of our time and how important it is to give it to others selflessly. However, in the arena of friendship, I think it is most valuable and speaks the loudest. A friend builds a history with you. To be a friend, you have to be willing to listen. Are you willing to listen and care, sincerely? When is the last time someone listened to you...I mean really listened? Most of us feel the brush off frequently, but we all need to feel like what we are saying is important, and want to be heard. A good friend is a good li...

I have been pondering friendship quite a lot lately. It would seem that there are many different definitions of the word friend, in all it's various degrees of intensity. That thought led me to think about what would be the qualities of The Perfect Friend. So, join me in my little, happy bubble as I brainstorm all the attributes of the perfect friend... My perfect friend... has my best interests at heart. wants to spend time with me, even doing the mundane. enjoys trying to appreciate the different kinds of music I'm into at times. laughs at my jokes, even if they are not that funny. likes me for who I am, not for what they think I should be. lets me buy them little gifts, and even says they like them. allows me to postulate the deeper meaning of life, even to the sublime. takes mocking like a pro. dishes it right back like a champ. doesn't talk behind my back... or anyone else's either. doesn't mind if we are wearing the same outfits by accident. ...