July 3, 2009

Wild Horses


Sometimes you just need a place to write down thoughts so they can have a place to live...a place to be out of your mind. This blog is therapeutic at times, it is true.

Having just lived a pretty emotional past couple of weeks, I am so many adjectives. Honored, thrilled, strong, anxious, disappointed, fatigued, disheartened, disgusted...down-right angry. A song entitled Wild Horses, sung by Natasha Bedinfield, has been repeating itself within my inner self, while on the more top layers of my mind issues, problems and tasks, missions are pressing. This song is speaking to me, giving me a place to run and giving me hope that one day, possibly, I'll feel some release from the burdens the Lord has placed upon me, after I have successfully completed what He has asked of me.

Don't get me wrong; I'm privileged to have the missions that He has deemed me qualified to handle, but I'm sure He also knows my weaknesses, my selfishness that I bury deep and struggle against. The fight or flight instinct is there, always deciding, ever whispering.

I feel these four walls closing in
Face up against the glass
I'm looking out.
Is this my life I'm wondering,
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around?
Is this the bed I chose to make?
It's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Wide open spaces far away...

All I want is the wind in my hair,
To face the fear but not feel scared...

Wild horses, I wanna be like you.
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free, too!
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to...
I wanna run with the wild horses,
Run with the wild horses.

I see the girl I wanna be,
Riding bare-back, care-free.
Along the shore,
If only that someone was me.
Jumping head-first, head-long
Without a thought;
To act and damn the consequence.
How I wish it could be that easy,
But fear surrounds me like a fence.
I wanna break free...

All I want is the wind in my hair,
To face the fear, and not feel scared...

Wild horses, I wanna be like you.
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free, too!
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to...
I wanna run with the wild horses,
Run with the wild horses.


I am confident that the Master will give me strength and the words when I need it. He has prepared me for this time, as He always has, of this I have no doubt. And, I am thankful...ever thankful.

But still...

Wild horses, I wanna be like you.

3 comments:

Ari C'rona said...

Wow! That song is awesome, my dear friend. Those adjectives, all of them, are so apt this week. I, too, know HaShem has prepared me for this time to be your support and do what must be done. I am honored to be part of the missions He's placed before us. Baruch HaShem.

Baqash said...

May the Force be with you. May G-d be with you.

Mama Cache said...

This brings to mind your juggling analogy from an old blog . . . you are much in my thoughts, and in my prayers, as you live among those many adjectives, my friend.